bokunotheo asked: let's talk about the tags on the dildo post a pOLICE FLASHLIGHT!?
You’ve never heard about that? It’s story time.
About a year ago, my house got broken into while my family was on vacation. The only things stolen were some jewelry, and $100. The city police sent an officer over, and my mom was showing him where the jewelry and money were. He had to use his flashlight, because the closet where the stolen items had been didn’t have a working light at the time. The officer set his flashlight on top of the safe, finished writing down what he needed to write, and walked back into our living room to finish asking questions and filling out the police report. The next day, I was looking for a jacket to wear, and found the flashlight instead. Naturally, the first thing that I do was think about whether or not I could fit it in my ass. There was only one way to find out. I rolled a condom over the flashlight, lubed it up, and in it went. I took it all the way to the actual light, where it starts to get thicker. After having my way with it, I disposed of the condom and placed the flashlight back where it was sitting before. The next morning, my mom walks into my bedroom with the flashlight, and asks me to take it back to the police station. I took it back, and they thanked me. There’s one of Lake City’s finest using a flashlight that was at some point inserted completely into my ass.
Nicolas Roberts still asserts that I should have turned on the flashlight while it was inside of me.
I still think you should have.